Collecting Memories

We have almost reached the half way point of 2010 and what a year it has been! Even though we don't have any school age kids, the Toler household has felt the change of seasons, too! It is SUMMERTIME! The days are longer, the nights shorter, and the steam was literally coming out of the ground this evening after the rain shower! We decided to kick off the summer season this past weekend with a quick trip to Charlotte. We couldn't leave for the whole weekend with t-ball and church, but I wanted to give Kris a change of scenary (life between the recliner and the couch has not been too exciting for him)! I made hotel reservations for Sunday night. I spent a few nights searching the web trying to find "Things to Do" in Charlotte, but then I realized that we really didn't need "Things to Do". Why couldn't we just go and take it easy? What a novel concept.

So, Sunday after church, I loaded the van, and we hit the road. It was less than a 2hour drive, the kids slept all the way there, and the weather was great. Once we checked into the hotel, the kids and I changed into our swim gear and we hit the pool. Kris kicked back and found some baseball on TV! I was so relaxed (I guess) that I even forgot my camera, so I have to describe Kieran's swimming setup. He had on Spiderman swim trunks, Spiderman flippers (on hands and feet), Spiderman goggles, and Spiderman floaties (water wings). The only thing missing was his ability to climb walls and shoot webs! Once Elyse (and mommy) got use to the cold water, we all had a great time swimming around and watching the airplanes fly over from the nearby airport. After our swim, we went to dinner at our favorite P.F. Chang's China Bistro. The kids ate and ate after their fun swim. On our way back, we stopped at Walmart to get a kid's golf set since there was a small putting green at the hotel. We came back, put Elyse to bed, and then Kieran and I played 5 holes of "golf" at 10:00 pm! That's what summer is all about, right?

Monday morning, we woke up, ate breakfast at Kieran's favorite "breakfast buffet", and then changed back into our swim suits to hit the pool one more time. We had a good swim and stepped out of the pool just as the rain started to pour! After we checked out, we ate lunch at a very authentic Irish Pub that Kris and I discovered a year or so ago. The food was great and everyone who worked there could pronounce Kieran's name correcty! It poured the rest of the afternoon, but that was okay because we had nothing planned and decided to head back to Columbia.

Tuesday, Kieran turned to me and said, "Mommy, do you remember when we went to the hotel, went swimming in the pool, and played golf?" "Yes," I said. "Can we do that again? It was fun."

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28

The Little Things

Isn’t it funny, how the little stresses of life can quickly add up. A few small disturbances (a whiney child, bad traffic, burnt toast, a living room that will not stay clean) throughout the day can suddenly drop the weight of the world onto our shoulders. Of course, sometimes it isn’t just small things that add up. In our household, it has been 4 surgeries in 4 months. I don’t think there has been a week in that 4 month time period that we haven’t had at least one doctor’s appointment. When the big things hit, the little “disturbances” seem to add up even faster.

But what about the blessings? We seem to have no problem letting the stress in life take over, but we have to sit down and “count” our blessing. We often go through our day without even stopping to look at the blessings that are being thrown at us left and right. Sometimes I think I end up dodging the blessings while the stresses are smacking me right in the face.

Tonight, I’ve decided to sit down, push the daily stresses to the side, and bask in the blessings of these past few weeks. First of all, we are so blessed to be surrounded by wonderful friends and our amazing family. After Elyse’s 2nd surgery, our dear church family brought us meals, gift cards, balloons, and special toys for the kids. One friend brought us a bag of dress up clothes for Elyse and she wore many of those sparkly, fancy clothes to her doctor’s appointments. While the doctor’s appointments fall under the “stress” category, that pretty pink princess dress became one of the many small blessing that made those visits a little easier on her. While I was stressing about the details, God knew.

A friend mentioned recently in her blog about how God is the God of details. He is concerned about our every need, even the little ones. I am amazed at the many times I have been able to see God working out the details. A few days before Kris’ hip surgery, I was getting concerned about how we were going to get him up the stairs to our house. My parents were visiting, but I wasn’t sure I would be able to give him the support he needed. That Sunday, a friend from church said to let her know if we needed any help Tuesday. It was her birthday and her husband was taking the day off to spend with her. Because of this, he could help us with Kris if we needed it. The day of the surgery, Kris was in more pain and dizzier than we thought he would be. I called our friends when we left the hospital and they met us at the house. What a blessing! I was stressing about the details and God knew.

Even tonight, I experienced another blessing. The kids and I were at the library getting some books for Kris to read during his recovery time. I started getting stressed as I looked at the clock and realized I only had an hour to get home, fix dinner, get the kids’ bedtime stuff together, and get to choir practice at church. As soon as we walked out of the library, my phone rang. It was another friend who said she was taking dinner to a family from our church who had just had a baby and that she made an extra meal and was bringing it to our house. I was stressing about the details and God knew.

Wouldn’t life be easier if we could skip the stressful parts of our day and just rest in the knowledge that God knows. He knows the little things; he knows the big things. He has worked out the details before we think of them.

“Therefore, I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?” Matthew 6:25-27

Mother's Day Quiz

Tonight, when I was tucking Kieran into bed, I decided to give him a Mother's Day quiz. Here were his responses:

Mommy: What is my favorite color?
Kieran: Blue and red (his favorite colors)

M: What is my favorite food?
K: Not chicken (Kieran doesn't like chicken). I think it's potatoes.

M: What is my favorite fruit?
K: I think all of them.

M: What is my favorite thing to do?
K: Watching TV and playing (are you seeing a theme??)

M: What is my favorite thing to watch on TV?
K: Scooby Doo

M: What is my favorite animal?
K: The tiger.
M: I do like tigers.
K: Wow, me too!

M: How old am I?
K: I don't know. I think maybe you're 4.
M: Actually, I'm 34.
K: 34? Oh, I thought you were 4.

M: Where is my favorite place to go on vacation?
K: Hotels

M: Who is my best friend?
K: Me...and Elyse...and Daddy.

I am so bless to have a son who knows me so well :)! After our quiz, Kieran told me that he wanted tomorrow to be another Mother's Day so that he could make me a cake with strawberries and a candle on top. He could then sing "Happy Mother's Day to you" (set to the tune of "Happy Birthday) to me. As I was leaving the room, he said, "Mommy, if you need to do anything that you can't do, come get me and I'll help you do it." I couldn't ask for a better Mother's Day present than that!

"Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her." Proverbs 31:28

Faith in the Wait

Waiting has become a theme in our family for the past few months. We have spent hours (or maybe even days) in waiting rooms. We’ve waited for appointments, phone calls, test results, and healing. We just returned from (hopefully) one of Elyse’s last doctors appointments for her neck. Her incision is finally healed, and we can officially retire the head wrap bandage. We have waited 3 weeks for the incision to heal from the inside out. It has been a long process, and Elyse has been a real trooper. What is the next step, you may ask? Well, now, we wait. We wait and watch her neck to see if she has a recurrences of the infection in her lymph nodes. We wait to see if any more cultures come back giving us a clue to the source of her infection. Most importantly, we wait on God.

Why is waiting so hard? It is hard because we feel out of control, and I do NOT like to be out of control! It is during this time of waiting that Satan fills our head with all the “what if’s” and scary possibilities that could be lurking on the other side of the wait. Psalm 27:14 says, “Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.” Verse 37 even tells us to wait “patiently” for him! Satan wants us to be anything but patient. He wants us to ask questions like “Why can’t we get an answer NOW? Isn’t God listening to us? Does He really care about my situation?”

So, why does God ask us to wait on Him? He asks us to wait because it is during this time of waiting that we have to make a choice. We either have to choose to put our total trust in Him or we put our trust in ourselves. If we put our trust in ourselves or in other people, then we will continue to feel out of control and stressed out . However, if we choose to put our faith in God, we can rest assured that He is in control. We can have hope instead of stress. If we put our faith in God, then He will use the waiting time to refine us, to strengthen us, and to renew us. Hebrews 10:23 tells us to “hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.” So, who would be crazy enough to choose stress over hope, chaos over peace, and doubt over faith? I do…almost everyday.

I think it is time to make a different choice. Why wait?

Chosen

Last Saturday, Elyse and I were the first two up in the house and decided to go on a mother/daughter yard sale shopping trip. At the first yard sale, there was a blanket on the ground with all kinds of baby dolls, Barbies, and stuffed animals. Elyse walked over to it, pointed to a doll and said, “my baby”. I looked down and saw that she was pointing to one of the least attractive dolls on the blanket. It was bald, naked, and broken (it use to “do” something since it had a battery pack and a very heavy head). Being the good mother that I am, I tried to offer Elyse one of the many other dolls and stuffed animals on the blanket. She looked at each one and said, “no, my baby.” Since it has been a tough couple of weeks for Elyse, I paid the $1 for her baby. Of course, I figured she would get home and forget all about the homely yard sale baby.

We went to a couple of other sales and she carried that baby around every place we went. When we got home that day, we gave the baby a bath, put on some clothes, and changed the batteries. Unfortunately, the new batteries did nothing. Elyse soon discovered that the baby could suck her thumb which thrilled her to no end! Elyse was so proud of her new baby. Almost a week later, Elyse still loves that baby. She has gone to the store, the park, church and the doctor’s office with us. The other day, we had to turn around when we (AKA Elyse) realized we had left her at home.

After watching Elyse with her baby doll this week, it dawned on me that this relationship was a great analogy to our relationship with God. Just like Elyse’s baby doll, we were chosen. God looked down and, out of all his beautiful, amazing creations, he chose us! Of course, we, too, are ugly, dirty with sin, and have run down batteries most of the time. However, he still loves us. We try to clean ourselves up with new clothes, makeup, and pretty smiles, but those things don’t matter to God. Colossians 3:12 says, “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.” God created our flesh, but he is most concerned with our spirit. He sees the potential in us and knows the plans he has for us (Jeremiah 29:11). We have been handpicked by Him to be a part of His plan.

After we turned the car around that day to get “my baby”, I handed the doll to Elyse. A few minutes down the road, I turned around and Elyse was sound asleep, hugging that baby doll. Don’t we all crave that kind of unconditional love? Don’t we all have times when we need to crawl into our heavenly Father’s arms and just rest? I noticed at that moment that it wasn’t the new clothes or freshly washed face that made that baby doll precious. It was Elyse’s love for that doll that made her beautiful. “How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!” 1 John 3:1

A week with no TV!

I heard somewhere that this past week was "National Turn Off the TV Week", so I decided to take on the challenge. We've never had cable, and I do stay busy most days with the kids. However, I find myself turning on PBS even when Kieran doesn't ask for it.

Monday, we started our day without turning on the tv! Step 1 accomplished! We went to the puppet theater that morning and then a friend of Kieran's came over for a playdate. They both asked to watch a movie several times throughout the afternoon, but I just casually responded that it was "no movie day". So, instead of watching Scooby Doo (Keiran's favorite), they started acting it out. The week went by with fun picnics in the park, stressful doctors appointments, and many opportunties (and excuses) to veg in front of the TV, but we didn't do it!

Last night, Kieran was going over the plans for the day ahead (which he likes to do...must be a planner like his mommy) and he listed lots of fun activities, none of which included TV or movies! Of course, this afternoon, he had 4 or 5 DVD's spread out on the chair as he was planning what to watch first when Saturday arrived!

While I'm not ready to get rid of our TV, I know now that we can survive without it, I can actually get things done, and the kids have an amazing imagination! Pick your own "turn off the TV week" and join us!

Elyse Update

Well, here we are a year after my last post on this blog! I was kind of surprised it was still out there and I still remembered the password. It has been quite a year for the Toler family to say the least. Many of my facebook friends have been asking about our daughter Elyse, so I thought I would write out the story here instead of using up space on Facebook.

Last November, we noticed a swollen lymph node in Elyse's neck. We took her to the doctor and they said it was probably just an infection and it would go away. Unfortunately, it didn't and after many, many tests, the doctors decided it needed to come out. In January, she had surgery to remove the lymph node. They thought it was something called an atypical mycobacterial infection which is rare, but her symptoms matched up with it. Unfortunatley, because of a mix-up in the lab, we were not able to get a culture of this first lymph node. However, surgery should have taken care of the infection.

Over the next two months, we took care of her incision, but noticed that she was developing new swollen lymph nodes on the same side of her neck. We met with an Infectious Disease Specialist who agreed with the mycobacterial diagnosis and suggested surgery again. It is very unusual for this infection to spread or affect other nodes, but her symptoms still seemed to match. On April 7th, Elyse had another node removed along with a mass of scar tissue. We are now in the healing process from that surgery. The wound has to heal from the inside out, so the incision was left open (with packing inside), and we go back to the doctor every 2 days to get more packing taken out. The newest incision is much deeper and wider than her first one, so it has taken a toll on our sweet girl. She is one tough cookie! So far, the tests done have not been able to confirm the mycobacterial infection, so we are back to the drawing board on the cause of her swollen lymph nodes. Right now we are praying for healing for the incision (Elyse is currently fighting a staph infection on the surface) and healing for whatever has caused these swollen nodes.

We greatly appreciate all the prayers, calls, and meals from our dear friends and family. Elyse is truly blessed to be loved by so many people!

O LORD my God, I called to your for help and you healed me. Psalm 30:2